Friends, Family, Co-workers, etc.

[ashlimccall]

Post here to discuss the support you are (or are not) receiving from friends, family, etc. What are the most helpful things others are doing for you? What are the most unhelpful things? What changes could be made to provide more positive social support? Share!

[DeAnna]

My mother worked as a home health aide. Insurance covers her to go to older peoples homes to clean, cook, grocery shop, play games, etc. She does not administer medicine or give showers.....I'm so happy I can take showers again . I wonder what it would take to get this kind of care for HG sufferers? It's usually for the elderly, but I wonder.

[ashlimccall]

Oh, if someone could just answer that, it would be great! One dear mother, a doctor's wife, shares her story in the book (p. 251-2), and while she didn't toss any numbers out, she did sort of imply that the cost of a nanny is expensive (probably an understatement!). Once when I asked a health care professional at the hospital, "Where do you go when you are too sick to bathe or brush your teeth, walk or even hold your head up--you know, when you really can't take care of yourself?" She answered, "Why, to the hospital of course!" But I can't really see doctors hospitalizing a mom inpatient until she can do all those things. What about the mom with kids? What about the SINGLE mom with kids? WHAT about the single mom with kids and NO support??? What in the world is she going to do??? Does she even have a choice? Or just a last resort??? Sigh...

No one should be abandoned like that.

[DeAnna]

Most helpful: 1. knowing somebody was there to take care of my children
2. my husband giving me a shower and brushing/drying my hair.
3. encouragment ("hey, you're sitting up today", "did you take a bite? that's great maybe this will end"
4. soothing music played very softly
5. husband cleaning my puke bucket and the bathroom all the time and not making me feel bad.
6. Sweets don't taste as bad as other stuff coming back up
7. Rolaids and zophran (IV)
8. Updates on baby development

most unhelpful: 1. Force feeding attempts
2. "Just drink some water, I would if I needed to" and other advice
3. PILLS!!!!! what are they thinking?
4. crackers, ginger, lemon, anything that smelled, vitamins, seabands,
5. dirty air vents, sound of computer, other sudden sounds, stress (anyone getting onto my kids,
making me make a decision or think, too much motion)

[ashlimccall]

Excellent tips, DeAnna! Thanks for sharing them.

Ashli

[michelleparsons]

I was so relieved to read this thread. I had real problems in my first pregnancy, but in my second and third things got really ugly. My eldest daughter was having problems at school and I was constantly being told to sort it out by the teachers, when I had barely got the energy to get her to school. My husband worked long shifts and I had to do most things myself, even though I had barely enough energy. I remember feeling suicidal most days knowing I had to get up and do the housework, sort the school run and show my face to everyone, when all I wanted to do was hide under the bedclothes. I just wanted to get away from the constant cycle of vomiting til there was blood, forcing myself to eat because I had to feed the baby, and starting all over again. I felt I had to be strong for my kids sake, put a brave face on but I was so angry that no one could help me, and also determined to get through it alone, so I had very conflicted emotions. I had severe problems at work because (even though I showed him my hospital discharge notes detailing all the treatment I had to have) my boss refused to believe I had anything other than normal morning sickness and said I was unreliable and just trying to get time off by overexaggerating. I would love to get to the stage where women with this have all the support they need, and I know, if my daughters' end up with this I will move heaven and earth to try to be there and support them.

[charbpm]

I hate how every1 thinks that you are over exaggerating and keep telling you 2 just eat. I'm starving and want to eat but the food or water just comes back out and forcefully! I miss the days when I could just go in the kitchen and eat what ever I wanted or drink a glass of water when I'm thirsty.
I pray that my daughter doesn't have to go thru it but that maybe wishful thinking because my mom went thru it with every pregnancy and I am to it looks like. This is my 3rd and I'm thinking this may be my last. Because I'm seriously thinking of tying my tubes after my baby is born. I love kids and want more but I don't think I can hndle the hg any more. Hg has won the battle.I'm very glad to have found different sites online to support this nasty disease. No1 undrstands what sufferes of hg really go thru unless they have fought that battle themselves.