This is my second pregnancy. My first was as a civilian when I was 18 years old. I didn't know what HG was then and my severe nausea, vomiting, and weight loss were attributed to my young age and the existing malnourishment of my poverty.
I was stuck in a pallet in the floor of an apartment in a Dallas ghetto, puking in a bucket. When my nausea did subside, I didn't have food to eat anyway. I didn't know what was worse: being so sick I couldn't eat, or being gut wrenchingly hungry.
All in all, I lost 30lbs with my daughter. She was born healthy, strong, and is now physically and developmentally above average.
I left my exhusband and joined the navy when my daughter was a year and a half old.
Once I reached my permanent duty station, I met my current husband and fell absolutely in love with him. We were happily married and became a blissful family of three.
In the craziest month of our lives, my husband found out via DNA testing that his daughter from a previous relationship was not his, and that he was going to the middle east the following month. Then, we got those two pink lines.
I thought I might get a little sick. After all, I still didn't know what HG was and I still blamed my abusive ex and our fringe living situation on my illness last time around.
Six weeks came and went and I was thrilled that I was not ill. My mother wasn't ever hardly sick with the four of us, and I was hopeful that I could avoid it this time.
Then I hit week 7.
I was in bed, breathing painfully through parchment lips, unable to move except to puke in a bucket.
While everyone was carving turkey for Thanksgiving, my brother hauled me off to get an IV.
I've been in and out of the hospital more times than I can count. I have permanent red mark and tape residue from constant IVs.
I've been hospitalized for three days, and I'm looking at more.
I read about women who have to quit their jobs due to HG. I only wish I had that option.
My ass is in a contract. That means:
I work unless it's in writing from the doc that I can stay home. Most of my time at work is spent eye-balling the bathroom or trying not to smell the coffee, engine exhaust, and perfume.
I have to be accounted for 24/7.
And, worst of all (in my opinion), I am denied the only medicine that could help me. Pot.
I alternate between Zofran, promethazine, and compazine. At least once a week, none work and I'm back to the IV.
My husband calls from the desert and we try to keep him informed. His command has already promised that they will not send him home no matter what happens to me.
My most recent development is high blood sugar in the absence of any diet to speak of.
I'm 13 weeks along and I've lost 20lbs so far.
I will not be making rank this time around. There is no way I'm getting a positive evaluation.
I try to stay relaxed at home. My mother has my 3yr old for the time being. I am unable to care for her.
I am hoping desperately to give my husband a boy so that I won't ever be bothered about getting pregnant again.
I don't know if I can take doing this again.
The worst of it is that I haven't had a chance to be happy about becoming a mother for the second time.
I'm finally financially secure, I have a wonderful husband, and all I can think is "I WANT TO STOP PUKING!"
I feel more like I have a horrible illness than a precious baby inside of me. The doctor even described the baby as a parasite this morning.
I know this won't be forever, but with my husband gone, and being thousands of miles away from my family, time is passing sooo slowly.
I just want to be happy and baby crazy!
I will not be staying in the military after this enlistment. Both parents in the navy is not a situation that suits my family.
This has highlighted the importance of having time for family and crisis.
I am thankful that my baby is growing well. I will being doing a glucose check in a couple weeks to determine if I have gestational diabetes or not.
She said it to let me know that no matter how sick I was, he would still be able to take everything he needed from my body. It didn't make me feel better physically, but it put my mind at ease about my baby.
